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MISSY’S MISTAKE
A Cognitive – Behavioral Approach to Phobias for Kids
By Donna Moss
Hey there, my name is Missy. One day I was running late to school. It had been one of
those mornings, the usual kind, when Mom was late and tired, and Dad, was, well, late and
tired too. My annoying little sister, MaryBeth, needs help getting dressed still. What a
baby! Well, the school bus went whizzing by. “I really, really don’t want to go to
school,” I said to myself. “My teacher is not that fun, and I am getting sick of it!”
When I saw my best friend, Josie, I couldn’t believe it. She said, “Missy, you wore that
shirt yesterday, and, you left your back pack in the Music room – and the teacher is
looking for you!” “Oh my god”, I yelled to myself. I started feeling sick to my stomach.
I spent the rest of the day wondering what the teacher wanted from me and being afraid I
might throw up in front of EVERYONE! This actually happened to another kid, NOT me. But
still… Throwing up is major gross and I can’t control it. I asked my Mom, “Say, if you
smell a food you don’t like, can you just throw up from that?” And then I asked her,
“What if I notice something in the lunchroom at school that bothers me and then I throw
up in front of EVERYONE?” And then I kept on bugging my Mom, “What if I have to clear my
throat and it turns into a sickness, right then and there?!” Finally, I asked my Mom if
certain shoes could make you sick. That’s when she stopped answering me. Now everyday
it is such a pain to go to school. I don’t mind the kids or the homework but I feel
nervous all the time and I don’t know why!
I have a friend who I meet with every Tuesday at 3:30. Her name is Ramona. We play
games and talk and she helps me solve problems. My mother says she’s my therapist but to
me she’s just Ramona, my friend. Here’s what Ramona told me to do about my sicky
feelings.
- keep a diary
- eat little snacks throughout the day
- make a sticker chart for each day I don’t go to the nurse
- learn to check-in with myself on how serious it is
- turn down the volume, like on a T.V., but inside my head on those worry thoughts
I have tried this for two straight weeks and I feel a lot better. Now I’m helping
other kids who are going through this; and believe me, it’s a lot! I’m one of those
kids who needs to be with my Mom like all the time, but I’m starting to be able to be
without her too. Also I am giving more smiles in the morning which wasn’t happening
so much before. I never thought I would like going to Ramona, but she is very cool.
She makes lists of things I can try at home all the time! It’s also a special time
when I can focus on ways to feel good. Mom gets help to de-stressify from Ramona too!
She says that if I talk to myself to calm down it’s totally NORMAL. I wish more kids
would see a therapist. Some of them also give candy and have toys. Finally, when I
tell myself about the WORRY I feel, I can now say, “So what?! No big deal!”
At the end of the day it was time to see the teacher and face up to whatever it
was. Mr. Calme called me to the Music Room. I was shaking like a leaf! I couldn’t
tell you why! “Missy,” he said, “Here is your new clarinet. I felt the old one was
too small for you.” There was a long pause. “That’s it?” I replied. “Oh, and you’re
doing very well. You left this paper last week.” I stared long and hard at that guy,
then turned and walked toward the hall. I couldn’t believe that my big mistake was
really a big nothing. All the time I wasted worrying!
This easy-reader
paperback is for 6-12 y.olds who suffer from school anxieties
© By Donna C. Moss, MA, LCSW-R and Jackie Sasloff, Psy.D. 2006
www.mosslaw.net |
